In Barry's Lab
by Bon-Bon Emerson
Summary: 8 months after Iris' death, not Eddie's, erased the Reverse Flash from existence and caused the singularity, Barry enters his lab to find two hot, blonde detectives about to go at it. He's not happy. Written on a dare and as a bit of fun; not meant to be taken too seriously. Don't read if you can't handle a little Iris-bashing. Enjoy!
"Really, in Barry's lab?" Eddie chuckled incredulously.

"He doesn't have to know," Patty smirked back as she began kissing Eddie's neck, cheeks and chin. He muttered matter-of-factly, "Well he _is_ the Flash. What if he just comes speeding in here?"

"So what if he does?" she whispered lustfully as she shoved him backwards until his ass was against a lab table which conveniently had nothing on it.

Over 8 months had passed since the day the singularity had ravaged Central City. The day that Eddie had watched his distant descendant beat his friend to a pulp, then murder the love of his life to get back at Barry for the Flash's decision to not allow Eobard to return to his own time. The moment the evil speedster had withdrawn his vibrating hand from Iris' chest and she'd dropped dead, Eobard was somehow strangely erased from existence before their very eyes, and the singularity was born.

Knowing Eobard to be a descendent of Eddie but not Iris, Dr Stein had deduced one day, weeks later, that Iris, in the original timeline, would've had something to do with Eddie getting together with the mother of his would-be children.

The road to recovery hadn't been easy by any stretch, particularly when seeing a shrink wasn't an option. Barry, being the Flash, had been doing what he did best; helping people, fighting bad guys, and most of all, running.

Anyway, it had taken quite some time, but Eddie had now recovered and was ready to get back in the game. He _had_ been back in the game, for a little while now. But he was now about to fuck _the_ Patty Spivot, a semi-famous ex-model and new detective they'd recruited because, with metahuman criminals at large and now in the public consciousness, it had been decided that Central City Police Department needed more people power. It didn't help that the singularity had opened up portals to other Earths from which even more metahumans were now emerging. It also didn't help that CCPD members had been dropping like flies for the last 8 months.

 _God_ , thought Eddie, _Don't we all need a fuck break every once in a while, especially us two?_ Every day, Eddie and Patty had to deal with more than double the shit that normal cops had to deal with, due to the fact that they were both privy to all the activities of the Flash.

Patty had worked out pretty quickly that the Flash and Barry were one and the same. Not only could Barry not lie for shit, but Patty was a competent detective who had come to know Barry quite well and, unlike Iris, actually had more than half a brain. _Some journalist Iris must've made_ , Patty had thought to herself when she'd been told about Iris' occupation and about how long it had taken Barry's so-called best friend to figure the secret out. She didn't matter right now, though. What mattered now was that Eddie was quickly growing painfully hard beneath Patty as she grinded on his lap, knees planted firmly on one of Barry's lab tables.

"You know," Eddie began to wonder aloud, "I wonder if Barry's powers make him really good or really bad in bed."

Patty stopped covering him in sloppy kisses to give him a contorted expression of confusion. "What do you mean?" she asked breathlessly, trying to ignore the fact that she'd just accidentally gotten a certain Justin Bieber song stuck in her own head.

"Well, he's supposed to be the fastest man alive. Is that so in _all_ situations? But on the other hand, does that also mean that he recovers super fast?"

"You've certainly given this a lot of thought," she laughed.

"Hey! I'm just curious," he said back with mock indignance.

"Bi-curious maybe?" she suggested seductively.

He silently stared at her, stunned for a moment as his cheeks filled with blood and colour. She smiled naughtily and smothered his lips with her own before he could respond. Soon after, just as shirts were being shed, the pair realised that they'd jinxed themselves when Barry decided to speed into his lab unannounced.

"Barry!" the half-dressed couple shouted in unison as the speedster's eyebrows rose and his jaw went a little slack. "Eddie, are you _serious_?" Barry yelled back angrily. "What is the _matter_ with you?"

"We'll go somewhere else," Patty mumbled. "We're sorry."

Barry sighed, "I'm not mad because you were about to screw in my lab. Well, yeah, I'm kind of pissed about that, but I'm more mad about the fact that _he_ has to bang every single girl that I take a liking to."

"Wait, you like me?" she exclaimed.

"I was about to ask you out," Barry answered as he looked away slightly sadly, heralding the commencement of an awkward silence amongst the three of them that they were all sure felt much longer than it really was.

Eddie had to break it, however, when he felt his dick start to go down; "Hey, look, I am sorry. I wouldn't have touched her if I knew that you wanted to ask her out. And I know you liked Iris, but you were in a coma when we started dating, and come on, isn't _every_ girl you've ever liked a bit of a stretch?"

"Is it, Eddie?" Barry retorted.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Barry gave Eddie and indignant look before beginning, "Well, let's see. The night I met you, you discussed your latest one night stand with a girl named Becky Cooper, who, as it turns out, was actually my first girlfriend."

Eddie just rolled his eyes as Barry continued, "Then Iris, of course. Then you had a bit of a thing with Linda to... 'cleanse your palette', I think that's how you worded it."

" _Hey_ , she suggested it!" Eddie couldn't help but interject defensively, as Patty appeared to be trying to hold back giggles.

Barry ignored him as he finished with, "And don't think that I didn't hear about the three-way with Caitlin and Felicity Smoak!"

"Look, I'd just lost Iris, Caitlin had lost her husband and Felicity had just got dumped by Oliver Queen. We just, we all hadn't done a three-way before and we were all hurting and just needed to forget about our pain, just for a little while. Surely you can understand that. Except, the difference between us and you, Allen, is that we don't have the speed or stamina to go out saving people and running to other cities to clear our heads."

Patty looked between the two men, sadly surprised by the turn that this conversation had taken. Barry's face dropped as he whispered back to Eddie, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's okay," Eddie grunted with insincerity.

"You know what, you sound like you might really need this. I don't know if it's the same for you or not Patty, but I think I might just leave you both to it," Barry said, his voice low in both volume and pitch. He added as he turned away, "Just please, spray and wipe the bench after you're done. And remember to put all of your clothes back on before you leave."

"You know, we were just talking about you, before you came in," Patty spoke to stop him from leaving. The previous conversation had left her sad, but also horny, and those two feelings didn't combine well. All three people in the lab could, she thought darkly, could use some cheering up.

"You were?" Barry stuttered, turning back to face the other two, who were still in the same compromising position that they had been in when he first entered.

"Yeah. We were wondering if your powers make you any better in the sack than a non-meta," she responded cheekily. "Would you care to, perhaps, show us?"

As Patty smirked suggestively, the two men wore the same expression; eyes wide, mouths ajar, cheeks pink. She went on, "Oh yeah, pretend that you both don't want to. Eddie, after all the girls you've banged, look me right in the eye and say that you're not curious, (or should I say bi-curious?), to see what doing it with a guy is like, especially a guy as hot as this one. And Barry, tell me that you were honestly only jealous of Eddie and not the girls that he's slept with."

Both boys were speechless as Patty smiled and bit her lip eagerly. She growled coquettishly, "C'mon, Detective Pretty-boy. Show us how a threesome is done."

As Barry began to saunter over to the other two, Eddie murmured lowly, "You know, my other threesome was almost, in fact, a foursome. Felicity brought some attractive Jewish friend of hers named Simon, but he backed out at the last minute. Said he couldn't do it because I had an uncanny resemblance to some guy he knew and that it creeped him out too much. I was so disappointed."

"Let me make up for that guy's rudeness then," Barry grinned hungrily, whispering with a level of carnal desire that shocked the other two. They were even more shocked when Barry laid one hand on each of them and began to vibrate as he added, "I promise I won't leave either of you disappointed." One by one, he then ran both of them back to his bedroom.

Upon finding three of his colleagues naked behind Barry's bedroom door that evening, Joe nearly had a heart attack.


End file.
